Non – verbal practices

Question 1.

We live in a multicultural world and non verbal practices vary from one culture to another. As the worlds gets smaller, one must be sensitive and learn different practices in order to get along with another. The question asks us to identify 4 difference non-verbal practices in any two cultures that we know. Here is what I have found out:

1. Food

The practice of consuming food is an important part of any culture. The way food is consumed reflects our culture and what do we stand for. Some cultures eat together and some use utensils instead of their hands. I have chosen the Malay and Indian culture to demonstrate a difference in food consumption.

Malay culture

The Malays have a practice of sharing food by having the food served on a large plate and consumed by a maximum of four people sitting around the large plate. This practice originates from the middle east where food shared the same way. As Malays are Muslims in Malaysia this practice has been adapted by them as they have learned it from the Arabs who brought Islam to them. Why this practice? It is believed that when you sit and eat together the unity of the Muslims will be strengthened. Usually ‘briyani’ or ‘nasi ambang’ is on the menu.

Indian culture

The Indians have their food in their own unique way. They use banana leaf instead of a plate for consumption of food. This practice originates from southern India as many Indians here can trace their ancestry from there. Vegetarian or non-vegetarian food is usually consumed. We can see this practice often during weddings of south Indians. A new banana leaf is placed in front of a guest. Rice along with the gravy and other vegetable dishes are placed on the banana leaf one by one. After the guest has eaten, the banana leaf is taken and thrown away. It is advised to to fold your banana leaf towards you after you have consumed your food to show appreciation for the host.

2. Greetings

In order for us to get to know someone new we must first greet them. Some cultures just smile at each other, some rub their noses with each other. I have chosen the West and the East to compare in this practice.

Western Culture

In the western culture, when you meet a person whether you know or someone who is introduce to you, you often will give him or her a handshake. This is custom practice widely around the western world whether is business or in social setting. If you are the host, when your guests arrive always be the first to extend your hand and welcome them to your function. The guest will feel welcomed and comfortable. This is practiced by both men and women. There is no restriction.

Eastern Culture

However in the eastern culture here, we do not shake hands much compared to the west. Take for example the Japanese, they will always bow when meeting their friend or someone new. In a company setting the juniors will bow lower to the seniors as this a mark of respect for their seniority. Another example would be, the Malays. They are Muslims. It is forbidden for men and women who are not of kin to touch. So for example, to greet a person, a man would grasp the other man’s right hand and take one or both of his own hands and touch his own chest as mark of receiving one’s greeting warmly.

3. Eye contact.

The study of eye contact is called eculesics. Eye contact is so important they even have a discipline for the study of it. I have chosen Japanese and Western to differentiate the use of eye contact.

Japanese culture

The Japanese do not give much eye contact during conversation. In their culture they find this uncomfortable. This is most important when having a conversation with Japanese women. When having a conversation with them, they do not give much eye contact. As mentioned it is considered uncomfortable and can be taking as staring at someone without paying much attention to what their saying. To handle this situation is to look at the eyes and then look away maybe at other parts of the face before looking back at the eyes. For example the mouth and then the nose.

Western culture

In the western culture however, eye contact is very important during conversation. Good eye contact is essential to show that you are listening attentively to the one who is speaking to you. It is a sign of confidence on your part to them and vice versa. If you do not look at them or have very little eye contact, it can be considered that you have something to hide. You will be cast as being suspicious and have hidden bad intentions. Western women consider eye contact essential during dinner dates with them as it assures that the gentlemen is interested in them.

4. Gifts.

Giving and receiving gifts are a part of our Malaysian culture. Gifts are exchanged or given during functions such as weddings or birthdays. There are different ways the three major cultures in Malaysia receive and exchange gifts. I would like to compare the Malay and Chinese culture in this example.

Malay Culture

When bringing a gift for a Malay host, make sure that you avoid wrapping the gift with the color yellow as it is the color of royalty. The other that you should avoid is white as it represents death and mourning. If you’re going to bring food make sure that it is halal meaning permissible for ‘Muslim’ to consume. Do not bring alcohol to a Muslim home as it is haram or not permissible in Islam. Always offer the gifts with the right hand or with both hands. Generally the gifts are not opened immediately and are opened after the guests have left.

Chinese culture

When bringing gifts to a Chinese host, don’t wrap gifts in white, blue or black colors. These colors that represent death and mourning. Wrap the gifts in cheerful colors and colors that are considered lucky by the Chinese like red, yellow or pink. Also give gifts in even numbers and not odd numbers as they’re also considered unlucky by the Chinese. Another important thing that we should remember is that knives, scissors or any cutting tools as a gift will indicate a desire to end the relationship according to the Chinese.

Question 2.

Having an open house has been become something common during festive seasons. Be it Hari Raya Puasa, Lunar New Year, Deepavali or Christmas, it is now a custom to have an open house. For the rich it can be a grand affair but for the not so rich it can be for close friends, neighbours and relatives. Our national leaders have promoted this idea to enhance unity between the different cultures of Malaysia. This can be a wonderful affair but if we are not sensitive to the different needs of our friends, this can lead to confusion and conflict. Here are three difficulties that can arise during an open house that is for large community and ways to tackle them.

1. Food

Potential difficulty:

Different cultural group consumed different kinds of food. Many Hindus and Buddhists are vegetarian and do not consume meat or any kind of animal products. Muslims only consume only food that is considered halal and they do not consume alcohol. Indians who do eat meat will not eat beef as it is not allowed in their religion.

How do avoid this:

Create a menu that is made of all halal food and absolutely no liquor is served. This is to make sure that Muslims won’t any problem at all attending and consuming the food. Secondly you can have a vegetarian spread for vegetarians and it can be placed separately from non-vegetarian food. Thirdly avoid beef on the menu as to respect the wishes of Hindus.

2.Utensils

Potential difficulty:

There will be guests who would like to use their hands to eat. Some would like to chopsticks and some would like use forks and spoons. This will cause problems to your guest if they are used to eat in a certain way in a function.

How to avoid this:

For those who like to eat with hands, we must make sure that we have a place for them to wash their hands before and after they have eaten. There must enough serviettes for them to wipe their hands clean. For the ones who like to use chopsticks, disposable chopsticks can be given. Plastic fork and spoon can be used by those who prefer them, because if you have metal fork and spoons they might not be enough and it will be a hassle to clean them.

3.Labels

Potential difficulty:

Beef can look like mutton and non-vegetarian food can also look like vegetarian food. This will cause confusion among Hindus and Buddhist alike. If consumed Hindus and Buddhist will feel that they sinned and will cause them much grief and psychological agony.

How to avoid this:

A simple label on the food can help avoid this. A label saying beef, mutton and vegetarian will tell your guest what to avoid and what can he or she eat. This can also provide your guest with the impression that you are sensitive to their culture. They will leave the venue with respect for you and will definitely look forward for the next time.

Being a good host is essential to show that you are a hospitable person. In Malaysia, we are fortunate that we have a practice of having open houses during festive seasons to show our hospitality to others. However being insensitive or ill informed about the practices of other cultures can lead to confusion and conflict. The three potential difficulties and solutions that I have suggested can help us in successfully having an open house. At the end of the day we all want our guests to go back with a good impression of us. This will lead good harmony and peace in the community.

No plastic bag day.

I went to the supermarket yesterday to buy white rice and brown rice.  When i got to the cashier, the cashier told me ‘ Sorry Sir, no plastic bag. Today is no plastic bag day’. A lightbulb went in my head, damn should have brought that shopping bag i bought the last time i was here!

Strangely, i thought, i would be great for people who have items that could carry with they’re hands. But what about people who have more ? Thank goodness for shopping carts. People were just wheeling they’re stuff to they’re cars. Here’s the thing, they usually just leave it around there. Often in the vacant parking space, much to my annoyance ! Arghh!!!

In 2010 I learned …

that there is God… really, I stand corrected.

that someone i know as the most beautiful and perfect being will never see me the same way. now that’s what i call enlightenment.

trust is a very rare commodity

hope and wants are things we need to let go. focus on being grateful for everyday. thank you !

losing everything i was proud of was the best thing that happened in my life.

i am not dead, i am not done.

found my life purpose…philosophy

found good friends who care for me despite my weaknesses, thank you !

a cup of coffee on a rainy day, a kid’s smile, a hungry cat that you feed, sharing food with good friends are God’s way of showing that you matter.

to live a day at a time, be patient. It takes a few lifetimes to reach nirvana.

i love the whole world, boom di ya da, boom di yada.

Dr Wayne Dyer, thanks Sofiah !

man is spiritual being having a human experience.

being a mother isn’t easy -  Thanks Ma !

relearned to be a less egotistical human being, relearned not to interfere and be selfless.

discovered the true me.

Self-learning, face to face tutorials and on-line learning.

 

I wondered, distance learning ? No classrooms, no lectures ? How am I going to get things done ? I soon realized all my worries were silly as I was provided with all the written materials, tutorials and online access to WOU student portal for my studies. All these materials are given to a distance learner so he or she can do self-learning.

I was given all these materials and access so that I can study on my own time. Self learning is good because I can managed my own study time and determine where can I study. For example I like to study and do research in the public library. I feel that the library is quiter than my home. The books and research materials are a lot. I can borrow the books there or take them home and return them after i’ve finished with my assignments. I can also use the regional office library to do the same. The titles are a bit limited so I have to be quick to borrow.

Completing my assignments is not enough. We must also read and understand our course material. Why ? Because I have final exams and they contribute if i’m not mistaken 50% to my total percentage. It is very crucial that I start reading early and cover all the material needed. As an avid reader, some books that I read tend to have information about the courses that i’m taking. For example books on business coaching. They have a lot of material on motivation and self starting. These books can help a lot on trying to explain certain subjects like group discussions (TMA1).

Our study manual has a lot of information on our course. It is our primary reference to our subject matter. We are given textbooks for certain courses but it is difficult to cover all the chapters given our busy schedule. After every topic our study manual has small activities that we need to go thorough in order for us to better grasp the subject matter in hand. These activities may need us answer questions or list down things that not included. The study manual we have is a good example on how self learning now is possible for me.

Other than the written materials, I have my face to face tutorials to help me during the course of study at WOU.

Tutorials the essential part of the distance learning experience. Tutorials in WOU are not lectures. We have a tutorial once a month and it is only for two hours. Don’t you think it’s a waste of time to be lectured the whole two hours?

As said instead of lectures, where the lecturer just churns out information on the subject matter, these tutorials are mainly for interacting with the tutor and other fellow students. It is a session where I can ask questions and clear doubts that i have. I can also explain to other students my understanding of the subject. This will also improve my command of the subject matter. What I mean is no matter how much you read, you definitely need someone to explain the concept. You need someone to explain so that your understanding will be correct. As distance learners it is vital for us to understand so that we can use the information learned in our jobs and businesses. Face to face tutorials are in other words, are a meeting of minds.

These tutorials are also the time to pass up our assignments. Certain courses require us to pass up manual instead of online. This maybe because it requires us to do lab experiments and write our findings with our own handwriting. Some tutors may give us short tests to do. This is too assess our understanding on the course. Not all of courses require this.

In these tutorials, the tutor can give us tips and guidance on how to do our assignments. He or she can highlight the points needed and where to find the research materials needed. After we have done with tutorial, we can go through the study manual again and try to intergrate the ideas, answers and suggestion that we have discussed. This will better enhanced the distance learning experience and motivate us to do better in WOU.

We are all busy with work and family. Now we decided to continue our studies. So sometimes we do miss tutorials and put off reading to spend more time at work and with our families. This is where online-learning can help us.

When we sign-up as wou student, we are given the student portal. When we login to this student portal, we will see our LMS, e-mail, Mylibrary and all other learning facilities. We have access to WOU‘s Learning Management System or LMS. All students need to be familiar with LMS because it is an important tool in our learning. On the LMS we can see the courses that we are enrolled in, announcements, students who are online. I can click on the course link to view my course page. Here I have access to all the study materials, forums and download assignments. I can even chat with fellow students !

As students we are given e-mail access. We can use this e-mail to communicate with our tutors and fellow students. The MyLibrary is actually our e-Library that we have can give access to many different books, journals, past examination papers, news clippings on e-format. We have also can message the wou_librarian to helps us with our search of materials. Of course if all else fails we have the internet to help us out.

You may be wondering, how does this help you as a student ? Let’s say I missed a tutorial. I can use my e-mail service that I have to contact the tutor on what was taught or given. He or she can give the details. I can also contact my fellow classmates about this. I can also use the forum to post questions on tutorials. On the course page each tutorial has it’s own forum. If I share my questions there, other students can also benefit. The tutor and the even the course coordinator can share study material such as powerpoint slides and microsoft word documents. This can be used for own reading.

I can also use the chat facility on the LMS to chat with other students in real-time. Other messenger services such as Yahoo, Msn and GoogleTalk can also be used for this purpose. We can have a virtual group discussion online. Some of us live far apart, this can be very beneficial.

As I mentioned, I like going to the library to study, but there certain titles that are maybe not available as hardcopy books. For example, there are journals, electronics articles and there are actually books which are exclusively published as electronic books. I can use the MyLibrary service that is provided to get these materials for my research on assignments and studies. There are links to e-journals, past examination papers and various other materials. Links to many online news portals such Malaysiakini and Wall Street Journal. User name and password are given to all students so that they can full access to the information.

In MyLibrary, we can search for hardcopy book titles to see if they are available. I can also have them delivered to me too. These facilities are very helpful to me as a student as I have access to them 24/7 days a week. So these these online-learning tools can help me catch up with the rest of the class and help me finish my assignments.

The combinations of the three study methods or modes in WOU can help a student like me to complete his degree in time. Self learning is very much needed because unlike traditional universities, WOU runs the open distance learning concept. We must be independent and make time to study. We must remember our goals and stick to our commitments. I have to rely on myself most of time.

The face to face tutorials are a place where the minds of students and tutors can interact to get the best out of the subject. It is where doubts are clarified and maybe new ideas are spawned. The online-learning facilities and the internet must be also be fully utilised for our learning purpose for without it ODL will not work. As all these modes I use in my studies, I also use them in my daily life, in my profession. Some things that we learn in school or in this case university can never be forgotten.

Group Discussion

Here what I think how a study group will benefit me as a distance learner.(Written when i was one)

Emotional and academic support

I am working person with a lot of responsibilities. Most of the people in Wawasan Open University are working too. We juggle our priorities. Work, family and other social events will get in the way of our studies. We have an opportunity with a study group to discuss and also find ways to handle them.

For example a student may have problems getting into the material after a long break from school. We can advise this student develop a reading habit by reading books,magazine and newspaper everyday in order for him or her to get into the habit of reading course material everyday. In our monthly tutorials it is vital for us to take down important notes given by the tutor. Note taking methods can be also shared like carrying a small notebook in case an answer or an idea for a TMA comes flashing.

We can also learn to teach each other subjects that we don’t understand. For example a student may not understand the difference between the ‘efficiency of a manager’ and or the ‘the effectiveness of a manager’. Having a few students may give that person a few different answers but the point is that he/she is able to discuss with the group and conclude the answer. We don’t just memorize facts but we need apply effectively in real life as well. Some students may not know how to use the WawasanLearn or LMS properly. We as a group can show them how to use it for it’s very important how to download files, post to forums and upload their TMA’s. By explaining to other students, we can better grasp the subject matter that we are learning. This is because when we explain we need to think about subject throughly. By thinking deeply about it, you may understand better.

A study group may also have senior students who have been with WOU for a few semesters. Some of them may have picked an basic or an advanced subject to study. These senior student experiences in doing assignments can be vital to the study group as they can share tips and tricks on how to tackle TMA’s and open distance learning.

In a group like this we can share our problems. Sharing our problems with someone is good to lighten our burden and relieve our stress. For an example, you may have guilty feelings that you are not spending time with your family as much as they need you to because of your studies. Talking about it with the group eases your burden. It may or may not solve our problems but it is good for our mental and emotional well being. It also good for the group that everybody cares for each other. This can also prevent loss of interest in study. Another student might be in the same boat as you and he or she can share how they are tackling it. Maybe some of us are good life coaches in the making.

Life is unpredictable. We may miss some tutorials for that reason. Our study group members can keep us up to date on the tutorials and latest academic developments. We can do this when we meet up or can post notes and discuss them online in the forums. Discussing them according to the tutorials is best way.

Share ideas

It is said that ‘two heads are better than one’. The study group will be of different personalities and backgrounds. So, one subject matter can give a student many ideas how to understand or discuss it. The ideas can be listed out and the most reasonable or logical ideas can be used. These ideas then can be discussed,debated and hashed together. It can be also shared in the forums, so that students from other regional offices can benefit. By doing this a active environment can be created for students and lecturers.

This skill that we pick-up in these study groups is important for our careers. For an example, many companies have brainstorming sessions to develop ideas and products. Sales and marketing department, product design department and even universities have study groups on how something should be tackled. The skills that we picked from study groups, debating, discussing and hashing together ideas can be used in a real world application. It will make us better thinkers, analyzers and problem solvers.

Become more organized

Being in a study group requires commitment. That means I need to organize my time so that I can meet up on schedule and get things done. I will need all my study materials, notes and reference with me when I meet up with my group. If I’m studying alone, i might procrastinate, but if i’m in a study group, my mates are relying on me to do my part, so that they can get things done too. For an example, the study group may have assign one person to study one topic and later explain it to the group. So if I don’t read that topic, I am letting my study group down. I will need organize my time, so that I have time to read the topic.

In a study group, you may take turns to become discussion leaders or coordinators. This means you can be in charge of getting everyone together in a weekend to study. You need to organize when to meet,where to meet,what to discuss,how long should it be and how many are coming. You can use e-mail, sms or call each other to remind ourselves of tasks. I believe that this will make me better committed to the group and more responsible. This also can give us basic leadership and coordination skills that are important for our future undertakings. Many learn this through clubs and organizations but I know that you can learn this through group learning method as well.

Conclusion

In a study group I will learn how to do all that i’ve mentioned, take notes, do research, manage my time between study,work and family. I will create new friendships and bond with my fellow course mates. The relationship that I have with them will last probably through the whole 4-5 years of study in university.

All the points I have given shows how a study group will benefit me. To me all these points lead to one word, motivation. Emotional/academic support can get me through tutorials, tutor marked assignments and of course the whole semester. Sharing of ideas can make me a better thinker, do better analysis and solve problems. Becoming more organized will give me coordination,leadership and negotiation skills that are vital to become a good manager. The study group or group learning method will give me the best motivation, skills and confidence to finish my degree and enjoy my life as university student.

Communicating

This is text of my P5 speech –Your body speaks! from the Competent Communicator Manual

Toastmaster of the evening, Madam President, fellow toastmasters,visiting toastmasters and guests. A very happy evening.

There is a saying, if you stop learning, you will get old. Learning comes naturally to us. Without it we would not have progressed so far. Learning something new is like creating a new folder in our computer. We create it, open it and put whatever new things that we have learned in it. We then closed it up and use it as reference for next time. I would like to share with you all what are learned about communicating.

Two years back, i was sent by my previous employer to a teambuilding program in Tekam, Pahang. It was a three day program. The program had a lot of indoor and outdoor activities. One of the activities was we had to build a raft and well, go rafting.

Rafting ? I said to myself. All the butterflies in my stomach started to fly. They made havoc in my stomach and then flew to my brain and brain started to fill up with negative thoughts! You can’t do this ! You can’t swim and what if you drown said my brain. The instruct assured me that there is nothing to worry about and that they will be there to help us. I called up my insurance agent just make sure i was covered.

It was time for us to do the rafting activity came. As i said, we had to build the raft ourselves. We were separated in teams We were given the materials and instructions on how to build it. My team and i proceeded to build the raft. After we finished building it, we had to carry it, like this to the man made lake or river. I am not sure what it was. But it had water. We pushed the raft gently on to the water. My team was that it floated ! If didn’t, i wouldn’t be telling this story.

We all got on the raft. I was one the rowers. I sat on the left side of the raft. One of my teammates volunteered himself to be the "captain of the ship". We then slowly rowed to a distance. And then we we’re told to stop. There was going to be a raft race to see which was best team. Once we we’re ready the instructor blew a whistle and the race began. I was rowing as fast and as aggressive as i can. My face intense just like this. My captain was yelling at us to row faster and telling us to go left or right. After all our efforts, fellow Toastmasters we came in, wait for it, last place! My team was very disappointed. I was too.

After the activity, we all gather in the field next to the river or lake, the instructors asked us how was the experience ? The winning team said ‘It was great’ ! but that was because they won. I said this was my first time rafting. The instructor said ‘ now a new folder was opened in your brain’. Then they asked the losing team, us why we lost ? We could not answer. They said we lost because we did communicate. The leader did not communicate well with the rowers and the rowers were not listening. The winning team had good communication. They worked together well. They had success.

That was what i learned that day, fellow toastmasters.The importance of communication. Let’s come back here. In every meeting, the TME has to communicate with all the appointment holders.He has to make sure everyone knows they’re duty. The general evaluator has to communicate with all the evaluators. What happens if they don’t ? The meeting won’t happen, correct ? That’s why the need to communicate well matters.

I hope all of you have benefitted from the story and the lesson i learned about communicating. If you didn’t, you all need to go rafting. Thank you for listening. Back to you Toastmaster of the evening.

I goofed up along the speech (a long pause). Next time i’m not using notes at all. Feel free to comment.

Life gives you lemons

This is text of my P4 speech –How to say it ! from the Competent Communicator Manual

Toastmaster of the evening, Mr President, fellow toastmasters, visiting toastmasters,distinguished guests. A very good evening.

Why does life keep giving me lemons? How long can i keep making lemonade ? When will it give me oranges or apples,they’re my favorites. It seems hard to get what you want these days. Currently being ‘in between jobs’ (another term for jobless!) gives me time to ponder about life and ‘lemons’.

I’m jobless. I am happily unemployed. Before you assume anything. Let me explain what happened.I quit my job in December last year.The job was too stressful and the hours were too long. I couldn’t lead a normal life that i had before. Being a Toastmaster, I couldn’t even attend meetings regularly. Before i decided to quit, i did think matters through. How long would it take before i find another job ? How are my finances ? What will my family and friends say ? But one passion drove me me to decide. I want to be a professional speaker and motivator. In order for me to achieve that, I need to attend Toastmasters meetings regularly. This is for me to have more speaking time. With that in mind, I took a bold step to quit.

How has that worked so far ? Great ! being jobless gave me time and space to really reflect on my life goals and dreams. It allowed me to find how i got here. My quest to become a professional speaker ? Even great. I have been attending my club’s meeting regularly and have been learning a lot and adding value to myself. I also had the chance to be an advisor at a recent Speechcraft  workshop. I was also the test speaker for the evaluation session. It felt really good to impart knowledge that i have to new students.
The speakers who gave training for tabletopics, vocal variety,organize your speech were truly wonderful and very knowledgeable. By observing how they did it, I learned on how to train people. The path to be a professional speaker is on track!

Being jobless also gave me more time to spend with my mother.Talking to her help me to understand her more. Before this i was so busy with my career. She shared with me her life experiences and what she has gone through. It taught me the value of life and having a balance of everything. She was recently warded in the hospital because of an non healing wound. They had to do some minor surgery.After she was discharged,she had to go the local clinic everyday to clean her wound. I don’t know how i would have been able to do that everyday if i was working. I am an only son, my mother has no one else but me. Good friends also supported me and my mother during that time. We have now become closer because of that ordeal. I would like thank Dzuhairy, Adilin and Eng Suan for being there when i needed them.

I have found a new passion. People’s personalities. The choleric, the sanguine, the phlegmatic, and the melancholy. I started to learn about the temperaments for fun but because of all the free time that i have, i am reading more into it. Going out and observing people has become a daily activity for me. I try to guess their personality type by observing them. It really helps me to deal with different type of personality out there especially during interviews.I am a melancholy/phlegmatic by the way and my mum is melancholy/choleric. Now i understand why we didn’t get along well before. I am more at peace with her now. When she talks, i just shut up and say yes to everything !

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not encouraging anyone to give up their job.Being in a job is not bad.If you love your job,please continue. But the question arises, when if you have dreams that requires you to move out of that job ? Will you do it ? I did. It has been working quite well. If didn’t leave my job, maybe i would not have improve my speaking abilities, or become closer to my mother more or get a new hobby.

We have to be realistic. We all need a source of income. The bills don’t pay themselves. I am still looking for a full time job not just for paying the bills and also to finance my dream. I appreciate all the free time that i have now. I have to used to set my goals. I have used it better myself as a speaker. It also gave me the chance to a better son to my mother. It has taught me the value of life and who my real friends are.

There’s that saying again, "If life give you lemons, you make lemonade", If you happened to be jobless, make the most out the time you have. You will never know what you’re going to learn and experience.Thanks for listening.

NOTE: Feel free to give comments, constructive please !

Technorati Tags: toastmasters,public speaking,communications,speechs,motivation

Favorite Tweeter Tweets

These are some of my favorites Tweets from my Twitter account. I just realized i have over 300 tweets. It’s good to share your random thought over the net. I hope to encourage to do so.

People should be grateful or be appreciative of you. It’s good for your self worth. An acknowledge of your work as human being. 3:40 PM Feb 28th via web

I want to change the world. I’m gonna campaign to make everyone switch off the tv and spend more time with their families. about 22 hours ago via web

Be as close to ur superiors as ur close to fire. Just stand beside and warm urself by it. Don’t get to close. You might burn urself. 3:54 PM Mar 1st via web

Try new things everyday. When you do you will find that it’s not so scary or difficult at all. A new folder has been opened in your brain. 8:11 PM Feb 27th via web

Life is interesting.One day your employed, the next your not. Gives you time to think and reflect. Maybe i should be not working anymore… 10:26 AM Feb 24th via web

Making simple decision is harder than difficult ones. Especially with parents involved. 10:24 AM Feb 20th via web

Good Morning world ! How are you today ? 11:23 AM Feb 19th via web

Time is not money, time is happiness !!! 8:13 PM Feb 18th via web

I have a millionaire mind, i say yes, say yes to success ! Song in my head and i don’t want to get rid of it! 1:16 PM Feb 17th via web

Moved any mountains today ? 11:48 AM Feb 17th via web

Wondering why life give you lemons all the time. How long can i keep making lemonade ? When will i get oranges or apples ? My favorites… 9:37 PM Feb 12th via web

Good deeds, are not remembered. They are forgotten as soon as they’re done. The attitude of gratitude is not in everyone. Pity 11:27 AM Feb 4th via web

Stop looking for the secret of living life and start enjoying life instead because even if you do find it, it doesn’t make any difference. 10:45 PM Jan 21st via web

wondering why my belly shakes when he brushes his teeth in the morning. the laws of physics is not kind to me !!! 9:27 PM Jan 13th via web

Hello world !!! How are you today ? Someone should start a happy news newspaper to counter all the negative news !!! Anyone ? 10:38 AM Jan 13th via web

I am feeling good after i’ve won table topics last nite at Jb City Toastmasters meeting. I think i’ve an idea for my next speech… 8:51 PM Jan 12th via web

Maybe i should take up psychology instead ? Human behavior is becoming interesting to me now days now that i am jobless…too much time… 1:09 PM Jan 4th via web

Hello world !!! Back from Jb town. Had something to do. What’s up everyone ? How’s your Monday blues….going…going…gone !!! 12:59 PM Jan 4th via web

been brooding over mistakes of the past. why didn’t i think things through before making decisions. must consult good friends next time. 4:12 PM Jan 3rd via web

QUESTION : If i eat pasta and then i eat anti-pasta, would i be hungry again ? 1:49 PM Jan 2nd via web

The worship of wealth, worship of success,worship of beauty, worship of consumerism,…where are we heading ? 7:05 PM Nov 26th, 2009 via web

I am always seeking comfort but not understanding, no wonder my mind is never calm… 11:18 PM Nov 14th, 2009 via web

After you have full filled the need for food,clothing and shelter, what’s next ? Love,friendship, a need to belong to something more ? 3:08 PM Nov 7th, 2009 via web

Please leave a comment if like to. I encourage it.

Fears

I accompanied my mother to the clinic for her annual checkup. We registered at the counter and waited for my mother to be called in to the doctor’s office. Her name was called and we went in to see the doctor. Before the doctor could examine my mother, a man came in saying that his grandson had cut himself and he was bleeding heavily. The doctor immediately attended to the boy. He had a cut on the right foot. The doctor cleaned the wound and bandaged it up. I was all the while standing there and observing what was happening.

What interested me was not the doctor treating the wound, this 7 year old boy was not crying or showed any pain. When the doctor asked him how he cut himself, the boy asked the doctor what time it was, the doctor said it was 2.45pm. The boy said bandage me quickly doctor, i am late for school. I don’t want to miss class. The doctor said to the boy, “You can’t go to school dear boy, you’ve got a cut”. The boy said “Oh, it doesn’t hurt that much Doctor”.

What a brave little boy! I said to myself.

How many of us, working adults have gone through these kind of situations in our life and like that 7 year old boy, quickly get back on our feet again ? Many of us don’t. Why ? we ask ourselves.Fears, we have learned to be fearful of situations, of things and of other people. These fears are learned by us through our parents, our environment and mostly through personal experiences. These fears can cripple us emotionally and can become destructive to our lives. We need to get over these fears to go through life otherwise we will remain stagnant and never grow.

Let me share with you a experience that i had about fears and how i got over it. When i joined Toastmasters, i have to give the first speech which is the Icebreaker (P1). This is the first speech you give on the way to completing your Competent Communicator Manual from Toastmasters International. I was so scared. I didn’t how it was going to be like. The thought of giving a speech in front of an audience was crippling. But whether i liked it or not, i had to do it because if i did not i could begin my Toastmasters journey.

I wrote my speech and practiced it. The time for me to present the speech came. At that particular meeting, it was a marathon prepared speech, meaning we had ten speakers that night and no table topics. Wow, talk about pressure! I was the first speaker.I walk to the lectern and almost had an heart attack seeing the audience. I started to speak and five minutes later it was over. Till to this day,I do not remember what i said or did. My speech wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad either. My evaluator gave me a fair evaluation and gave me tips on how to improve my speech. Well that as horrible as i thought was going to be. My confidence level was boosted as I had to prepare for my next speech.

I prepared my second project speech(P2) even better and practiced it as much as i can before i presented it. I wrote a good opening, body and closing. I practiced in the office after work, in my car and even at home, where my mother thought i was talking to myself. I had to explain to her what i was doing.

I spoke about the different types of personality that i learned in a seminar. For that speech I received a great evaluation and was applauded for a good speech. My evaluator even said that she learned something new from me. That was very important to me because it means a lot to me for a senior Toastmaster to say that. But another surprise was waiting me, i won best prepared speech for that night! It was a great moment for me, from zero to hero! My fellow toastmasters congratulated me for great speech. I have never so proud before in my life!

You see what happens if face your fears. What you can achieve if you don’t let fear stop you. Think about it, if i did not take the first step in doing the Icebreaker, i wouldn’t be here today. I will still would not have what hidden talents and abilities that i have and would have not learned new skills as well.

I would to share what i learned from preparing for my speech and getting over the fear of public speaking. This what i learned so far in my journey to be a professional public speaker.

1.First, tell yourself if you fail or don’t do well it’s not the end of the world. You bounce back from it better than ever. Failure and disappointments will teach us better than successes. Remember the time you fell off your bicycle ? What did you do ? You quickly got back the bicycle and learned to ride it ! Right ? because if you didn’t, all your friends would have left you and went about riding and having fun. Go back to your past and remember how you go over many failures.

2.Second, make list of the pros and cons.This will help you to balance the negative and positives. Make a list of the positives on the left and the negatives on the right on a piece of paper. Take a good look at them. Don’t you feel good when got all of them out ? Like talking to good friend, and he or she helps you see the reality of things ? It is something like, except you got to do this on your own.

3.Thirdly, talk to people who have done it before. Read about people who have overcome odds on life and how they did it. Talk to a mentor or public speakers. They have gone through the same fear and problem in their journey too. They will be more than happy to share with you their experience. Read Zig Ziglar, he is to me, a great speaker and motivator.His books have helped me a lot in my years!

4.Finally, give yourself a good pep talk. Positive thoughts begets positive events. It’s the Law of Attraction as a lot of people say. Keep saying to yourself, “I can do it, Yes i can”, repeat this line in head every time the fear comes around knocking in your head ! This works, it worked and still works !

Those are some tips that i have learned and i hope you can use them for yourself. I am sure that you are going to learn a lot about facing fears and accomplishing goals.

It is said that there are two fears that humans are born with, the fear of a loud sound and the fear of falling, every other fear is learned. Give in to your fears and life will pass you by. Conquer your fears and you will live your life to the fullest!

Just remember the story i told you in the beginning about the 7 year old boy and conquer for fears ! Thank you for reading.

Note: This is an extension of my P3 – Get to the point. I had a lot to say, I couldn’t say it all in the speech because the time wouldn’t be enough. I am a member of Jb City Toastmasters Club. (7669-51)

Technorati Tags: toastmasters,public speaking,communications,speechs,fears,motivation,sharing

Life gives you lemons ?

Why does life keep giving me lemons? How long can i keep making lemonade ? When will it give me oranges or apples,they’re my favourites. It seems hard to get what you want these days. Currently being ‘in between jobs’ (another term for jobless!) gives me time to ponder about life and ‘lemons’.

I am looking for employment.  I need something to finance my dream. Sometimes you have to be employed to achieve your dreams. Yes, some people or gurus as they call themselves say, ‘You have to get out of your comfort zone to achieve success in life’. We understand what that means. But, we as everyday people from humble backgrounds realize that we have bills to pay. Those bills need to be paid so that we can continue to live and dream. That’s why we need some form of employment before we can let go. Money is important.

Having a job is not being in a comfort zone. You must know when you are going to do your dream full time. One year, two years ? Then i’ll quit this job and live full time. You say to myself all the time. The problem is that we will procrastinate and time will, ladies and gentleman fly! Before you know it, it’s been five years ! and you still haven’t achieve your dreams.

Leaving my job has taught me that if you don’t leave your comfort zone, you will never the possibilities. Trust me, i wouldn’t be here planning how to get my Competent Communicator manual done for my Toastmaster’s Club if i didn’t. I wouldn’t be here dreaming of being an executive coach and consultant to the business world. I would still going to and from the office dreaming of some other super job that is going to change my life. Good riddance !

I am a firm believer that there is no dream job ! Just give yourself the chance to live full time ! You wont’ be disappointment.